The excerpt below is from a book entitled Starting A House Church by Larry Kreider & Floyd McClung. Published in 2007 it has elements that are a bit outdated but most of the content is solid. I especially enjoyed the comments about pitfalls when gathering. Some of those comments are excerpted below.

If we seek community with other followers of Jesus without an orientation to a new definition of church-a definition that is about genuine community and radical commission-people will revert to expectations based on older models. We must orient people to a community based on genuine relationships that require honesty, forgiveness and mercy. If we do not, churches will experience conflict and division among people, and conflicting expectations within people.
House church must be about authentic community in order to be relevant to our culture. Biblical house church is about family- something we all desperately want but aren’t generally good at doing. Unless we address this issue up front with answers from the Bible, many house churches will struggle with problems of disunity and unfulfilled expectations.
In order to experience genuine community in a house church, we have to trust other people…but there is this little problem called sin! We don’t, however, believe that sin is the greatest barrier to community, but lack of forgiveness. People in our nation are broken, and trust doesn’t come easy these days. When people consider whether or not to trust, many seem to think that the other person’s sinfulness is the problem. They are idealistic about their own lack of sin. Idealists don’t do well in community-not because they are imperfect, but because they don’t acknowledge their imperfections and received the forgiveness of God. If idealists have not received forgiveness, they will struggle with giving it to others.

It’s important to get this right. If you are part of a small community, sooner or later someone will do something to hurt or disappoint you, and you may once again have good reason to avoid “the Church.” But Dietrich Bonhoeffer points out in his book Life Together that the Church is not a place for idealists and humanists. Rather, Church is a community of forgiven sinners, a family of people who need mercy from those who have learned to forgive like Jesus.
Another trap to avoid is fear, particularly fear of what people think. House churches are largely unproven entities in today’s church world. They are new to many people and depend upon sometimes-inexperienced people to provide leadership. Despite these challenges, house-church leaders must act in faith, not in fear. They must build what God has called them to build and gain the courage to press on even when they encounter people who question their nontraditional approach to church. Even though house churches may lack credibility, what they lack in status can be made up for by courage and vision.
Fear of our own mistakes is another thing that can hinder us. Bible teacher Bob Mumford once said, “I do not trust anyone unless he walks with a limp.” He was referring to Genesis 32, when Jacob, after wrestling with the Lord and demanding His blessing, was touched in his thigh and from that day forward, walked with a limp. When God lovingly deals with us through difficult times, we walk with a spiritual limp the rest of our lives. This is the stuff of which true spiritual fathers and mothers are made.

Peter, the disciple who became an apostle of the New Testament church is another example of a spiritual father with a spiritual limp. After denying Jesus and then experiencing His complete acceptance and forgiveness, Peter lost his abrasiveness and became a true father in the faith. From that time on he “walked with a limp.”
Both Jacob’s and Peter’s examples testify to the fact that we all make mistakes. They also teach us that we must not give up. We may be doing all the right things, but problems will still arise. Or we may be tempted to go back to something easier than dealing with the shortcomings of humanity. Being a spiritual parent to believers in a house church is not easy. But it is rewarding.
The Bible says that all things are possible, not that all things are easy! Even Jesus dealt with problems while investing His life in the 12 disciples. They all left Him in the Garden of Gethsemane. He felt alone and forsaken. But He knew that the last chapter was not yet written! Fifty days later, Peter stood with the 11 and preached at Pentecost, where 3,000 people came to faith in Christ. No doubt, Jesus was just as proud of fearful Peter preaching to a multitude as He was to see thousands believe in Him.
Getting involved in a house church can be discouraging. Why? Because it’s not like going to a mega-church where everything is done for you. You are not a spectator, but an active participant. It is a community to belong to, not a set of doctrines to believe about Church. In the early stages, it is new and fun. Then comes a stage of involvement, which is about going deeper in relationships, working through personality differences and learning to open up your life honestly in ways that may be difficult for you, even threatening.
Then comes the stage that is the biggest challenge: realizing that you are responsible. Everyone has to accept responsibility for what happens-otherwise, things don’t happen. Things won’t get fixed unless everyone shoulders the load.

At this stage, many battle the temptation to quit. The enemy may try to use discouragement to take you out of the game. In a sense, you are a pioneer, and pioneers pay a price while others receive the benefits. Someone built the highway in your city, but now you drive down it without even thinking about the massive sacrifice someone made to build it.
If you believe that the Lord may be calling you to labor with Him to build His Church according to the principles that are outlined in this book, you will probably have to cross your own river. After you cross, there is no turning back. But then, who wants to go back to the wilderness? Let’s march like Joshua, through the river, with a confidence that the Lord is saving the best wine for last. He is waiting for you and me to prepare the wineskins so that He can pour out His Spirit, from house to house, city to city and nation to nation.
For more information on Larry Kreider you can check out his website here. You can check out Dove International here.
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