I certainly want to honor Larry and LaVerne Kreider as they have been modeling small relational gatherings since the early 1970’s. They have gained a wealth of experience over that time. The excerpt below is from Larry’s book, Micro Church Networks, published in 2020. The section below is about becoming effective spiritual fathers and mothers, something we desperately need today.
Before we can be effective spiritual fathers or mothers and see our posterity emerge, we must first check our motives. Spiritual parenting is a “behind the scenes” task. Probably no one will pat us on the back and say, “What a good job you are doing: keep up the good work.” Why? Because being a father or mother is not something we do, as much as it is something we are. I do not have to tell people that I am a father. They know it when they see my son and daughters.
Scripture warns us about giving ourselves an impressive title in an effort to gain the honor and respect of others: “Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven…but he who is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matthew 23:9,11). A spiritual father or mother is not a title or position. It is a role of servanthood. A spiritual parent who is a small group leader or a micro church leader is always a servant first. No one can ever take the place of our heavenly Father. Spiritual fathers and mothers point their spiritual children to their heavenly Father.
Paul, the apostle, called himself a father several times in scripture, but he uses the word “father” to denote “not authority, but affection: therefore he calls them not his obliged, but his beloved, sons” (see 1 Corinthians 4:14). The measure of greatness of a spiritual parent is one’s level of servanthood and love, not one’s position.
Spiritual fathers and mothers could also be called mentors. The term mentor comes from a story in Greek mythology in which Odysseus asked his friend, Mentor, to look after his son while he went on a long journey. A spiritual mentor recognizes that people need to be developed through a caring and empathetic approach.
My favorite definition of a spiritual parent is this: A spiritual father or mother helps a spiritual son or daughter reach his or her God-given potential. It is that uncomplicated and yet profound. Bobb Biehl says it this way: “Mentoring is more about ‘how can I help you?’ than ‘what should I teach you?””
So how does a young man or woman become a spiritual parent? The only way is to have children-then be committed to helping them. This happens either by spiritual adoption (becoming a spiritual father or mother to someone who is already a believer but needs to be discipled) or by spiritual natural birth (becoming a spiritual father or mother to someone you have personally led to Christ). Paul became a spiritual father to Onesimus through “natural birth,” leading him to Christ when he was in prison (Philemon 10). Paul became a spiritual father to Timothy through “adoption” after meeting him in Ephesus (Acts 16:1-4).
The micro church and small group provide ideal opportunities for everyone to experience a spiritual family and eventually become spiritual parents themselves. When micro churches and small groups multiply, new spiritual parents have the opportunity to take responsibility and start a new spiritual family (micro church or small group) themselves.
A sweeping revival is just around the corner. God’s people need to be alert to accommodate the great harvest this will bring into the kingdom of God. Spiritual parents will need to be ready to obey His call and take these young Christians under their wings. God has called us to be spiritual parents. The Lord wants to give us a spiritual legacy. We may not feel ready; in fact, we may feel unprepared. Nevertheless, God’s call remains on our lives.
Although for the past 1,700 years much of the church of Jesus Christ has strayed from the truth of relational restoration between fathers and sons, the Lord is breathing a fresh word to His people. Rather than putting the focus on meetings and buildings which promote programs to encourage the spiritual growth of believers, He is calling us back to being His family and returning to the New Testament truth of building families.
Many believers are meeting house to house in small groups throughout the world because the Lord is restoring this sense of family to the body of Christ. Christians are again beginning to relive the book of Acts. They are seeing the importance of empowering and parenting the next generation.
Jesus wants His church to be restored to the New Testament pattern of family life. He ministered to the multitudes but focused on a few. These disciples changed the world!
True spiritual fathering and mothering was modeled by Jesus when he chose and trained his twelve disciples. Spiritual fathering and mothering and making disciples is basically one and the same. But when we understand spiritual fathering and mothering, we care about the persons we are mentoring while training them to make disciples at the same time. Persons we disciple are not our projects. They are people we love deeply and desire to see grow into their God-given destiny.
I believe the Lord is preparing to pour out His Spirit and bring revival to the church in these last days. The new wineskins, or church structures, of the early church were simple: people met from house to house. I believe our Lord’s strategy to prepare for the harvest is still the same-He wants to use common ordinary believers who have encountered an extraordinary God to meet together as spiritual families from house to house to disciple, train and prepare for the harvest.
Many Christians today are thirsting for this great influx of new wine-new believers pouring into His kingdom. God is placing a desire within spiritual fathers and mothers to welcome these believers into the kingdom and then train them as spiritual sons and daughters. Small groups of believers meeting together provide an ideal structure for this. The micro church is meant to be a spiritual family with the leaders and other spiritual moms and dads in the group taking responsibility to train the spiritual children. Micro churches produce mature Christians in a family-like setting.
Although micro churches and micro church networks are wonderful wineskins for spiritual parenting, in themselves they are not the answer. It is not the structure itself that is significant, but the relationships occurring within its perimeters. If the people in the micro churches do not practice spiritual parenting, their groups can quickly become as boring and lifeless as any other structure. The life comes from the Lord and from the active discipling relationships that are taking place.
Don’t miss a post. Please subscribe below to my bi-monthly newsletter. Thank you.